dad jokes for your dads birthday

44 Best Dad Jokes For Your Dad’s Birthday

It’s your Dad’s Birthday and you want to make him laugh. Well, you came to the right place. Dad jokes are literally timeless. They never get old and no matter if they are good jokes or bad jokes, they always seem to bring a smile to a Dad’s face. Here are 44 dad jokes for your dad’s birthday.

Dad Jokes For Dad’s Birthday

1. I always keep a picture of my wife and kids in my wallet 

That way it reminds me why I have no money in it

2. Elon Musk bought Twitter for 44 billion dollars

I bought it from the app store for free

3. They should create a beer called occasionally

So when asked, I can say I drink occasionally

4. 3 conspiracy theorists walk into a bar

Now you can’t tell me that’s a coincidence

5. Have you seen the movie Constipation?

Me either, it hasn’t come out yet

6. When your wife says she will be home in 5 minutes

She will be. You don’t have to remind her every 15 minutes

7. My wallet is just like an onion

Every time I open it, it makes me cry

8. Apparently, 30% of owners, let their pets sleep in their beds

It’s not a good idea though. I let mine, and my goldfish died

9. I was getting an Uber the other day and the driver said:

“I love my job. I’m my own boss and nobody tells me what to do.”

Then I said, “turn left here.”

10. I’d love to get paid to sleep

That would be my dream job

11. My wife says I’m the cheapest guy in the world

I’m not buyin’ it

12. I had to kick Cinderella off the softball team

She just kept running away from the ball

13. I kept wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger

Then it hit me

14. Yesterday I spotted and albino Dalmatian

It was the best I could do for him

15. My wife and I laugh about how competitive we are

But I laugh way more

16. I just seen a burglar kicking in his own door

He must have been working from home

17. I’m not sure if my wife is satisfied with my body

A small part of me says yes

18. I’m changing my username to Nobody.

That way when people post something stupid I can like it. Then it’ll say “Nobody likes this”

19. What do you get when a dinosaur kicks you in the rear end?

A megasaur-ass

20. A history degree is useless

There’s no future in it

21. I just applied for a job at a diner

I said: “I bring a lot to the table”

22. I can’t bring my dog to the pond anymore, the ducks keep attacking him

I guess that’s what I get for getting a pure bread dog

23. Somebody complimented me on my parking today. They left a sweet note on my window.

It said: Parking Fine

24. I hate it when people say the age is just a number

It’s clearly a word

25. What do you call a funky car?

A must-ang

26. What did Michael Jackson call his denim store?

Billie Jeans

27. How do billboards talk?

Sign language

28. What does a dinosaur use to pay bills?

Tyrannosaurus checks

29. What do you call ghost poop?

Boo Boo

Dad Jokes For Dad’s Birthday Card

30. Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

He got stuck in a crack

31. What did the Rats say to the pirate?

“Everything Arrrie?”

32. What kind of hair do they sell at iHop?


33. What did the fat girl say to the pig?


34. When does a sandwich cook?

When it’s bakin’ lettuce and tomato

35. What do Spanish clocks say?

Tick Taco

36. Did you hear about the female rapper who only battled when she was on her menstrual cycle?

They said she had a mean flow

37. What do mermaids wash their fins with?


38. Did you in King Arthur’s time, one of the knights of the round table collected taxes?

His name was Sir Charge

39. Did you hear that Steve Harvey and his wife got into a fight?

It was a Family Feud

40. What do you call someone who gets mad when they don’t have any bread?

Lack toast intolerant

41. What do you call the syrup with the speech impediment?

Mrs. Stuttersworth

42. What’s the most crunk place to go to the bathroom?

The Lil John

43. What was the foot’s favorite type of chips?


44. If Steven Seagal removed all animal products from his diet, what would we call him?

Vegan Seagal

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