What better way to celebrate Mother’s Day than to tell your mom some dad jokes. As you might know by now, dad jokes are great for any occasion but especially Mother’s Day. Here are 44 Mother’s Day dad jokes that you can tell your mom on Mother’s Day.
Mother’s Day Dad Jokes
1. Why did the little boy want to be a boxer when he grew up?
Because ‘Mama said knock you out!’
2. What did the witch’s mom say when she got in trouble?
“Go to your broom!”
3. What did the Mother order at the bar?
A MAMA-MOSA.
4. What was the Mother’s least favorite rapper?
Da Brat.
5. What did the single Mother study in college?
Baby Mama Drama.
6. What do you call a female dinosaur with children?
A Mamasauus Rex!
7. What type of cereal does a Mom recommend when you have a cold?
Soup Loops.
8. What do you call a Mom who is a practicing lawyer?
A Mother-in-law.
9. What did the Mother ghost drink to stay healthy?
A Boo-berry Smoothie.
10. What did the Mother make her children for lunch at the beach?
A Sand-wich!
11. What type of cookies like to draw?
Snickerdoodles.
12. What did the Mother sheep say to her son when he was misbehaving?
“BAAAAAD Boy!”
13. Why did the policeman stay in bed all day?
He was working undercover.
14. What did the rabbit ask for on his birthday?
Carrot cake.
15. What do you call a cow in an earthquake?
A milkshake!
16. Mom: “Darnit, I just burned my Hawaiian pizza!”
Mom: “Maybe I should have cooked it on A-LOHA temperature.”
17. Why was sixty nine afraid of seventy?
Because they had a fight and seventy won.
18. What did the carpenter say when he finished building his house?
“Nailed it!”
19. I’m afraid for the calendar.
Its days are numbered.
20. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
I don’t know ‘y.’
21. What do you call a piece of crumbed chicken that was involved in a drive by shooting?
Schnitty, Schnitty, Bang, Bang!
22. To the man in the wheelchair that stole my camouflage jacket.
You can hide but you can’t run!
23. What do you call two octopuses that look the same?
Eye Tentical.
24. Where do wasps like to get lunch?
At the bee-stro.
25. What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAND-EEEEYYYYYYYYEEEE!
26. Why couldn’t the couple get married at the library?
It was all booked up.
27. Why didn’t any of Luke Skywalker’s marriages last?
He always used di-vorce.
28. What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
He said “it’s not you, It’s-A Me, Mario!”
29. What did the 18th century composer say to his rival?
“You better watch your Bach!”
30. What does a perverted frog say?
“Rub it!”
31. I made a website for orphans.
It doesn’t have a Home Page.
32. A naked man broke into a church.
The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ.
33. What do Tofu and dildos have in common?
They’re both meat substitutes.
34. Can we ban “yo mama” jokes?
They’re old, stupid and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times.
Just like yo mama.
35. What do you get when you rub two oranges together?
Pulp Friction.
36. How does the Rock pee?
He Dawyne’s his Johnson.
37. Which bear is the most condescending?
A Pan-Duh.
38. What do you call a chubby sidekick?
A four chin teller.
39. We just found that grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
Nobody is taking it harder than grandma.
40. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?
“Yellow.”
41. What instrument does an overweight member of an orchestra play?
A snacks-aphone.
42. What’s blue and smells like red paint?
Blur paint.
43. My husband asked me where I got so much candy.
But I always have a few Twix up my sleeve.
44. I hate my job. All I do is crush cans.
It’s soda pressing.
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