Being a husband and father isn’t easy. You have a lot of responsibilities and it can be stressful. And despite all of the chaos, you want to be a better husband and father so bad. But, you are not sure how.
Sometimes it can feel like everything that you are doing is wrong or you just know deep down inside that there is room for improvement. Well there is some relief in sight. By the end of this article you will be equipped with 11 ways to be a better husband and father. And you will be able to implement these tips immediately.
Express appreciation
One of the best things that you can do as a husband and father is to express your appreciation to your wife and child or children. And this is unprovoked appreciation. Meaning, you should randomly tell your wife how much you appreciate her for all of her hard work. And also tell your kid(s) how much you love them and how proud of them you are. Not just when they do something nice, this is going to be at random. When they hear these words from you, they will wholeheartedly appreciate it and it helps you become a better husband and father.
Be empathic
We all have a lot on the go and life in general can get very hectic. And this includes your wife and kid(s). They also have a lot going on in their lives too. So it’s important to show empathy to them. If you notice that your wife is having a rough day, empathize with her. The same goes with your child or children.
If they appear to be having a bad day or are struggling with something, be empathic to how they feel. We can get really caught up in what is going on in our own lives that it can distract us from how others feel around us. Take a moment to check in with your wife and kid(s) and be empathetic towards them and their feelings.
Don’t take things personally
You have to come to the realization that not everything is about you. Everyone is not out to get you. If your wife is having a less than desirable day and she has a short temper because of it, just remember that it’s not a personal attack on you. Same goes with your kid(s). If they are angry or upset about something, you can’t always assume that it’s about you. Increasing your self awareness about this behavior will help you be a better husband and father.
Be a good listener
Your family is going to need you to pay closer attention to what they are saying. When they have to repeat themselves then it slowly builds up a tiny bit of resentment every time because they feel that what they are telling you is not important to you. Making direct eye contact with your wife and kid(s) when they are speaking helps you become better at not only listening to what they are saying but also retaining the words they are saying to you. When your family feels heard, your bond with them will grow.
Take responsibility for your own emotions
It can be so easy for Dads to blame everyone but themselves. If you have ever said “You make me so angry” or “You are frustrating me”, then you are blaming others for how you are feeling. Let’s put this into perspective. Sometimes, we blame our wife and kids when we should be taking responsibility for our own emotions. If we are having a horrible day, we place blame on others when it’s not necessary.
If you are doing this, then you have probably learned that when you blame others, the actual problem does not get solved. But when you take responsibility for your own emotions then it doesn’t matter what other people say. What they say won’t affect you and this can make you a better husband and father.
Provide more affection
Hugs are free right? When you stop to take a moment to show your wife and kid(s) more affection, it drastically improves everyone’s mood. A simple and random hug throughout the day will send a message to your loved ones that you truly care about them. This also could mean a cozy snuggle on the couch. Doing this at random and unsolicited with no hidden agenda is key.
Offer your undivided attention
This may sound simple but in this day and age with electronic devices, it seems like we are always dividing our attention between the next notification on our phone and the person we’re with at that moment. It’s best to be fully engaged when you are spending time with just your wife, or just your kid(s) or the whole family. It may take some practice but it is worth it in the long run.
Make time for your family
With so much on the go and with life being so busy, family time can often get neglected. If you struggle in this area, it’s important that you carve out some time to spend with your family either one on one or altogether. This is very important to the growth of your relationship with them. When they don’t feel like they are a priority in your life, things can start to get more difficult for everyone involved. It’s best to commit to spending quality time with your family if you want to become a better husband and father.
Show unconditional love
This should be self explanatory, so this is a gentle reminder that despite all of the ups and downs that you’ve gone through up until this point, you have got to love your wife and kid(s) unconditionally. This means that you have to continue to support and encourage them for the rest of your life. Things in life can change but your love for them cannot waver. Do your best to strengthen your ability to love your family unconditionally.
Reduce or eliminate mind-altering substances
Relying on vices like smoking, drinking etc.can affect your ability to be a good husband and father. When you are not the best version of yourself that you can be, then it may affect your relationships with your wife and kid(s) in a negative way. Using mind-altering substances in excess can be disastrous to a family. Reducing or eliminating your use of these substances can help you be a more plugged in and engaged husband and father.
Alternatively, if you feel that you need help, you can call 1-800-662-HELP(4357) in the USA.
Work on self-improvement
Life as a husband and father can get overwhelming. It’s important to take care of yourself too. You can do this by eating healthy, getting some exercise, reading a book, talking to other Dads or schedule time to pursue a hobby of yours. When you are in a better state of mind and work your own mindset, it can become easier to be a better husband and father.
Summary
Becoming a better husband and father is very admirable. It’s certainly better than continuing down the same path and becoming more and more disconnected. Any improvement that can be made to be more attentive and engaged is progress. Implementing one or all of these tips will take time, so you will have to be patient. But at the end of the day, you’re doing this because you love and care for your wife and kid(s). And no matter how long it takes to improve, it will be worth it.
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