Dad jokes are great for all ages. Whether you are a kid or a senior, telling Dad jokes makes people smile. If you have been searching for Dad jokes that are kid friendly, this list of kid friendly Dad jokes will fit the bill.
1. What is a New Year’s resolution?
Something that goes in one year and out the other.
2. How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket!
3. What do you call a duck who gets straight A’s?
A wise quacker!
4. What did one wall say to the other?
“I’ll meet you at the corner.”
5. What did the mushroom say to the other mushroom?
“You’re a fun-gi.”
6. I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean made of orange soda.
It took me a minute to realize it was just a Fanta-sea.
7. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
“Stick with me and we’ll really go places!”
8. Where do horses live?
In neigh-borhoods.
9. What was the shy pebble’s wish?
That he was a little boulder.
Best Dad Jokes For Kids
10. What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour!
11. How do pandas greet their friends?
They give them bear hugs.
12. Why do pandas like old movies?
Because they’re in black and white!
13. What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
14. What did the plumber say to the singer?
“Great pipes!”
15. How do poets enjoy nature?
They go on a haiku.
Best Dad Jokes For 5 Year Olds
16. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
17. After six months, I finally finished putting together my jigsaw puzzle.
The box said it would take 2-4 years.
18. Do I enjoy making courthouse puns?
Guilty!
19. Why did the kid always sit in his wardrobe when reading a book?
Narnia business!
20. What did the French groundhog see when he woke up?
His chateau.
21. What concert costs just 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
22. Why are doctors always calm?
Because they have a lot of patients.
23. What did the fried rice say to the shrimp?
“Don’t wok away from.”
24. Where do math teachers go on vacation?
Times Square.
25. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
26. What musical instrument is found in the bathroom?
A tuba toothpaste!
Best Dad Jokes For Toddlers
27. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
28. Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well. I’m not going to spread it!
29. What did one eye say to the other eye?
“Between you and me, something smells.”
30. What’s Cupid’s favorite band?
KISS
31. Why do melons have weddings?
Because they cantaloupe.
32. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I’ll let you know…
33. I thought about going on an all-almond diet…
But that’s just nuts.
34. Do you wanna box for your leftovers?
No, but I’ll wrestle for them.
35. When I was a kid, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
As it turns out, identity theft is a crime.
36. Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?
Mount Rushmore.
37. What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish.
Funny Dad Jokes For Children
38. Can February March?
No, but April May!
39. Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re so good at it.
40. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite!
41. Shout out to my fingers.
I can count on all of them.
42. My aunt named her dogs Rolex and Timex.
They’re her watchdogs.
43. What is white, furry, and has wheels?
A roller bear.
44. I’m reading a book about antigravity.
It’s impossible to put down.
45. I once was fired from a canned juice company.
Apparently, I couldn’t concentrate.
46. I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner.
It was just gathering dust.
47. I’m on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.
Dad Jokes For Kids So Bad You Will Laugh
48. I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless.
49. How did the hairdresser win the race?
She knew a short cut.
50. You know, people say they pick their nose.
I was just born with mine.
51. I used to be a personal trainer.
Then I gave my too-weak notice.
52. What did Bob Dylan say when he adjusted his watch?
“The times, they are a-changin’.”
53. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
Sofishticated.
54. Never talk to pi.
He’ll go on forever!
55. What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.
56. The leprechaun loved my joke.
He was Dublin over with laughter.
57. Why do magicians do so well in school?
They’re good at trick questions.
58. What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?
Traffic jam.
59. What did the big flower say to the little flower?
“Hi, bud.”
Funny Kid Friendly Dad Jokes
60. A vowel saved another vowel’s life.
He told her, “Aye, E! I owe you!”
61. What does a baby computer call his father?
Data!
62. Why are piggy banks so wise?
They’re filled with common cents.
63. I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
Good Tymes.
64. What is a spy’s favorite type of shoes?
Sneakers!
65. My friend asked, “What rhymes with orange?”
I said, “No it doesn’t!”
66. Did you hear about the guy who swapped the label on the pumps at the gas station?
It was an April Fuels joke.
67. What does Ariel like to spread on her toast?
Merma-lade!
68. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
69. What does an Easter egg hate the most?
Good Fry-day!
70. What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?
“Yello!”
71. How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur looking good?
He uses a hare brush.
72. Librarians love a good joke.
They always get the reference.
73. Have you heard about the chocolate record player?
It sounds pretty sweet!
74. What kind of underpants does a cloud wear?
Thunderwear!
75. Elevator jokes are classic.
They work on so many levels.
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