Dad jokes are a genre of humor characterized by their simple, often pun-based, and intentionally cheesy nature. They typically involve wordplay or groan-inducing punchlines, making them endearingly corny.
Here are 50 Best Dad Jokes with links to another 250+ Dad Jokes for your enjoyment!
Dad Jokes
1. “How do you get Dick from Richard? You ask nicely.”
2. “To the person who invented zero, thanks for nothing.”
3. “If 666 is all evil, then 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.”
4. “Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.”
5. “What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-tain.
6. “I accidentally took my cat’s meds last night. Don’t ask meow.”
7. “I haven’t talked to my wife in seven years. I don’t want to interrupt her.”
8. “My dog accidentally ate a whole bag of Scrabble tiles. So, I took him to the vet. No word yet.”
9. “My son asked me what it was like to be married. So I told him to leave me alone. When he did, I said: why are you ignoring me?”
10. “My wife got pissed at me because I accidentally overcooked the ribeye last night. I told her: We all make miss-steaks.”
11. “My wife wants me to blow air on here every time she overheats. But honestly. I’m not a fan.”
12. “When my wife told me that I needed to stop impersonating flamingos, I had to put my foot down.”
13. “I’m not sure if my wife is satisfied with my body. A small part of me says yes.”
14. “You’re American when you go into the bathroom. And you’re American when you come out. But do you know what you are while you’re in there? You’re a peein’.”
15. “What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park man!”
16. “Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan.”
17. “What do you call a man that never toots in public? A private tooter!”
18. “What does an annoying pepper do? It gets ‘Jalapeno’ face!”
19. “What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.”
20. “Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.”
21. “I hurt my foot driving the other day. Guess who I called? A toe company.”
22. “What’s the best day to cook? Fry-day.”
23. “Why couldn’t the computer take his hat off? Because his caps lock was on.”
24. “What do you all a blind deer? No-eye-dear.”
25. “Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at.”
26. “You wanna know the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates.”
27. “Last night at the airport there was a woman completely passed out at the baggage carousel. She slowly came around.”
28. ”I’ve been trying to come up with good jokes about airplanes. But I can’t get any of them to land correctly.”
29. “I went to the toy store and asked the manager where the Arnold Schwarzenegger dolls were. He said: Aisle B back.”
30. “My wife asked for a divorce today. She was saying I was too un-American. Saw it coming for a kilometer away.”
31. “My wife called me at the bar last night. She said: if you’re not home in ten minutes, I’m giving the dinner I cooked for you to the dog. I was home in 5 minutes. Hate for anything to happen to that dog.”
32. “What do you call a small mother? A minimum.”
33. “I ran out of toilet so I began using old newspapers. The Times are rough.”
34. “I called work this morning and whispered: Sorry boss, I can’t come in today. I have a wee cough.
He exclaimed: You have a wee cough?
I said: Really? Thanks, boss. See you next week!”
35. “Tequila may not fix your life. But it’s worth a shot.”
36. “My landlord says he needs to talk to me about how high my heat bill is. I told him, my door is always open.”
37. “I told my wife I wanted to be cremated. She made an appointment for Tuesday.”
38. “My dad once told me that if I put a potato in my swim trunks, I would attract more women. He forgot to tell me to put the potato in the front.”
39. “As I was getting in bed, she said: You’re drunk!
I said: How do you know?
She said: You live next door!”
40. “I opened a restaurant called Peace and Quiet. Kids meal only $150!”
41. “At the age of 65 my Grandma started walking 10 kilometers a day. She’s 92 now and we have no idea where she is.”
42. “There was a Roman emperor who never aged after he turned 19. His name was Contant Teen.”
43. “When Tom Hanks writes his memoir, it should be called: T. Hanks – For The Memories.”
44. “I was feeling depressed, so my wife put her hand on my shoulder and said: “Earth.” That meant the world to me.”
45. I said to my wife: “Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing. She said: Wear your own then!”
46. “It’s a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore. I just bought a TV and it said: Built in Antenna. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know where that is!”
47. “How was Rome split in two? With a paid of Ceasars.”
48. “Just came from my prostate exam. Got the thumbs up.”
49. “My wife dressed up as a policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. After 2 minutes the charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.”
50. “What do you call an angry counselor? A therapissed!”
Summary
These dad jokes are stereotypically associated with people who enjoy light-hearted, family-friendly humor.
Dad jokes aim to elicit eye-rolls and laughter through their charmingly predictable and inoffensive style.
While they may not be the pinnacle of wit, their wholesome and approachable humor often serves as a bonding tool between generations, making them a beloved tradition within families and a source of amusement for many.
