Most horrible dad jokes are still actually really funny. Even though some dad jokes are meant to be horrible, they are actually great. Think about every Dad joke that you have ever heard, some were probably funny and some were probably hilarious. Here are 50 horrible dad jokes that are actually great.
1. All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh.
But it turned out to be a pyramid scheme.
2. Monday and Tuesday are my most productive days.
After that, it’s WTF.
3. My grandfather invented the cold air balloon.
It never really took off.
4. I thought I won the argument with my wife about how to arrange the furniture in our living room but when I got home, the tables were turned.
5. What do you call someone who studies dinosaurs?
A dinocologist.
6. The word “bed” looks like a bed.
7. My friend was changing a flat tire when he dropped the car on his foot.
Now he needs a toe.
8. Have you heard about the new extreme camping trend?
It’s in tents.
9. My kid: Dad, make me a sandwich.
Me: Poof, You’re a sandwich!
10. My idea of a balanced diet?
A slice of pizza in each hand.
11. What do you get when you set aluminum foil on fire?
Burnt Reynolds.
12. I’m trying to teach my daughter arithmetic, but she keeps confusing addition and subtraction.
To sum it up, she doesn’t know the difference.
13. What kind of magazines do cows read?
Cattle logs.
14. One of my fondest childhood memories was building sandcastles with my grandfather.
That is, until my mom took the urn away.
15. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
16. I bought a wooden whistle but it wooden whistle.
17. Selling your own brand of bourbon is a whisky business.
18. I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. Don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been trippin’ all day.
19. When my wife found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline, she hit the roof.
Terrible Dad Jokes That Are Actually Funny
20. What do you call a surfin’ pony?
A seahorse.
21. A tennis ball walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Have you been served?”
22. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Remorse code.
23. Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He ate his food before it was cool.
24. An clumsy gymnast stumbles into a bar.
25. Need an ark?
I Noah guy.
26. How do two German car enthusiast cowboys greet each other?
Audi, partner.
27. Why are zombies free labor?
They don’t need a living wage.
28. I almost subscribed to satellite radio.
But I just wasn’t ready for a Sirius relationship.
29. Huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight.
I was NOT prepared for the reaper cushions.
30. Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
The bartender shows them the door and says “We don’t serve your type.”
31. Why is it a bad idea to iron your four-leaf clover?
You should never press your luck.
Bad Dad Jokes That Aren’t Funny
32. I bought my wife a new refrigerator for her birthday.
I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.
33. They told me it was foolish to fill the room with nitrous oxide.
Well, who’s laughing now.
34. Why was the broom late for work?
It over-swept.
35. Someone asked me if I know the difference between ignorance and apathy.
I don’t know and I don’t care.
36. My youngest son glared at me when I started making farm animal noises at the breakfast table.
I guess someone woke up in a baaaaaa’d moooooooo’d.
37. I remember when they first came out with universal remote controls.
I thought to myself “wow, this changes everything.”
38. Why couldn’t the green pepper practice archery?
Because he didn’t habanero.
39. What do you call a nocturnal horse?
A nightmare.
40. I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
Good thymes.
41. I’m trying to learn to play piano by ear, but it’s much easier to use my hands.
42. I think it’s a great idea to wear two different deodorants, one under each armpit, but that’s just my two scents.
Dad Jokes That Are Not Funny
43. My wife asked me to sign up for my company’s 401k. I said not a chance.
I can’t even run a mile.
44. I think my ex-wife has weekly evil lessons with the devil.
Not sure what she charges him for it though.
45. I told my doctor I keep hearing buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
46. What do you call 52 pieces of bread?
A deck of carbs.
47. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
48. Did you hear about the monk that claimed he saw the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine?
Said the monk: “I can’t believe it’s not Buddha!”
49. In high school it was always my dream to start my own bread company.
I was voted yeast likely to succeed.
50. What’s the best way to console a sad English teacher?
There, their, they’re.
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