Dad jokes are great for any occasion, especially Valentine’s Day. If you are searching for funny jokes, here are 53 dad jokes for Valentine’s Day that will make your Valentine smile.
Valentine’s Day Dad Jokes
1. For Valentine’s Day, I decided to get my wife some beads for an abacus.
It’s the little things that count.
2. What’s the difference between you and a calendar?
A calendar has a date for Valentine’s Day.
3. Why did the husband get his wife a kitten for a Valentine’s gift?
He thought it was the purrrfect present.
4. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m stuck on you.”
5. Why did the skeleton not want to send any Valentine’s Day cards?
His heart wasn’t in it.
6. What did the scientist say to her Valentine?
I think of you periodically.
7. What did the ghost say to his wife on Valentine’s Day?
You look so BOOtiful.
8. Why are artichokes so beloved?
They’re known for their hearts.
9. What kind of flowers should you not give on Valentine’s Day?
Cauliflowers.
10. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“I lava you!”
11. What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine’s Day?
A hug and a quiche.
12. I was minding my own business in a food store and a lady came up to me and asked, “Do you have a date for Valentine’s Day?
I said, “ya, February 14th.”
13. Valentine’s Day is like an Adele playlist.
There’s a lot of sad singles that have been played way too often.
14. What do farmers get on Valentine’s Day?
Hogs and kisses!
15. What did the painter say to their sweetheart?
“I love you with all my art!”
16. What did one blueberry say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you berry much!”
17. What did one font say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
“You’re just my type!”
18. Where do all the hamburgers take their dates on Valentine’s Day?
The meat ball.
19. What do you say to an octopus on Valentine’s Day?
“I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.”
20. What did one oar say to the other oar?
“How about a little row-mance?”
21. My wife said she wanted to go somewhere really expensive for Valentine’s Day.
I took her to the gas station.
22. Yes, on Valentine’s Day I proclaimed my love to a tennis player that I fancy.
Unfortunately, Love meant nothing to her.
23. How do you save money on Valentine’s Day gifts?
Become single.
24. Why shouldn’t you fall in love with a pastry chef?
They’ll dessert you.
25. What happened when the trees fell in love?
They got all sappy!
26. What do horses do when they fall in love?
They get mare-ied.
27. Where did the whales go on their date?
To a dive-in movie.
28. What happened when the rabbits got married?
They lived hoppily ever after.
29. What did the baker give to his wife for Valentine’s Day?
Candy and flours.
30. What do you sing when you’re in love?
A valen-tune.
31. What do owls say to declare their love?
“Owl be yours!”
32. What did one bee say to the other bee on Valentine’s Day?
“I love beeing with you honey.”
33. What do you call the world’s smallest Valentine’s Day card?
A valen-tiny!
34. Knock. Knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke who got a Valentine.
35. What did the calculator say to the pencil on Valentine’s Day?
“You can count on me!”
36. What did the pencil say to the paper on Valentine’s Day?
“I dot my i’s on you!”
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37. Why did the banana go out with the prune on Valentines Day?
Because it couldn’t get a date!
38. Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Sure, they’re very scent-imental.
39. Did you hear about the nearsighted porcupine?
He fell in love with a pincushion.
40. What did the pickle say to the other pickle on Valentine’s Day?
“You mean a great dill to me!”
41. What did the paperclip say to the magnet on Valentine’s Day?
“I’m so attracted to you!”
42. What did the caveman give to their wives on Valentine’s Day?
Ughs and kisses.
43. Why do melons have to get married in church?
Because they cantaloupe.
44. What did the cat say to her BFF on Valentine’s Day?
“We are purrrrrrfect friends!”
45. What did the boy candy say to the girl candy on Valentine’s Day?
“We were mint to be together!”
46. What do you call a ghost’s true love?
His ghoul-friend!
47. Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?
Because he wanted sweet dreams.
48. What did one toast say to the other toast on Valentine’s Day?
“You are my butter half!”
49. They say tennis players never celebrate Valentine’s Day.
Because love means nothing to them.
50. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweet Hearts!
51. What did the rabbit say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
“Some bunny loves you!”
52. What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s day?
“Let’s hang out!”
53. What did the lightbulb say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
“I love you a watt!”
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