Sometimes you just need to laugh. Tell me a joke Dad jokes edition will have you howling in laughter. Here are 54 Dad jokes and puns that will help make you laugh.
Tell Me A Joke
1. What do you get if you cross an elephant and a fish?
Swimming trunks!
2. Why do fish live in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze.
3. Why are cats bad storytellers?
Because they only have one tale.
4. What piece on the playground is always exhausted?
The tire swing!
5. I love being a maze designer.
I get completely lost in my work.
6. Why was the gossip disliked at the coffee shop?
She always spilled the tea.
7. What’s the king of all school supplies?
The ruler.
8. Which bathroom fixture would be the worst life preserver?
The sink!
9. What do you call fake Sudoku?
Pseudo-ku.
10. Why do pancakes always win at baseball?
They have the best batter.
11. What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?
Instagram!
12. How are a hippo and Zippo similar?
One is very heavy, the other’s only a little lighter.
13. Why should you buy socks with holes in them?
It’s the only way to get your feet in.
14. How do you fit more pigs on a farm?
Build a sty-scraper.
15. Why is sand so optimistic?
It has a can-dune attitude.
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16. How do you tell the difference between a bull and a milk cow?
It’s either one or the udder.
17. Why did the belt get arrested?
It held up a pair of pants!
18. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
A thesaurus.
19. What do you call it when a lawyer takes a test early in the morning?
A breakfast bar.
20. What are trees so carefree and easygoing?
Because every fall, they let loose.
21. What did Sonic the Hedgehog say on Yom Kippur?
“Gotta go fast!”
22. I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift, but I couldn’t find a manual.
23. Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. Such a nice jester!
24. What vegetable is kind to everyone?
The sweet potato.
25. A friend said she didn’t understand cloning.
I told her that makes two of us.
26. I tried to make a belt out of watches.
It was a waste of time.
27. Why is “R” only a pirate’s second favorite letter?
Because their first love is the “C.”
28. How was the handsome runner described?
“Dashing.”
29. You should wear glasses while doing math.
It improves division.
30. Where was the dripping coming from in the fridge?
The leeks!
31. The globe means the world to a geography teacher.
32. Why couldn’t the family leave the room after playing with Legos?
They were blocked!
33. I told my friend ten jokes to make her laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
34. How did the Vikings send secret messages?
They used Norse code.
35. How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
36. I love whiteboards. They’re re-markable.
37. A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “Hey!”
The horse replies, “Sure.”
38. An atom lost an electron.
It really should keep an ion them.
39. I’m designing a reversible jacket.
I’m excited to see how it turns out.
40. Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
41. I’m tearing out pages of the dictionary.
I’m up to mischief.
42. Knowing how to pick locks has opened a lot of doors for me.
43. I tried to win a suntanning competition. But all I got was bronze.
44. Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid?
It’s pasteurized before you even see it.
45. Who designed King Arthur’s round table?
Sir Cumference.
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46. Bad gardeners are rough around the hedges.
47. My ceiling isn’t the best but it’s up there.
48. I should have been sad when my flashlight batteries died, but I was delighted.
49. I started a new job as a tailor last week.
It’s been sew-sew.
50. Someone stole my mood ring yesterday.
I still don’t know how I feel about that.
51. Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
52. What do cats call a nice dinner?
A Fancy Feast.
53. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine.
54. “Knock, knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Deja.”
“Deja who?”
“Knock, knock.”
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