Dads can be serious most of the time but every once and awhile it’s nice to make your Dad laugh. They say laughter is beneficial for the body. And Dads need to loosen up a bit from time to time.
Telling your Dad jokes and puns is a great way to bond with him. Laughing because of a good joke can lead to a conversation about almost anything else.
Classic Dad jokes are great because most of them are good and some of them are bad. But it actually doesn’t matter whether they are good or bad, they are funny regardless.
This list of 50 jokes and puns to make your Dad laugh will have you laughing out loud.
1. I wanna tell you a joke about a girl who only eats plants
You’ve probably never heard of herbivore
2. Poop jokes aren’t my favorite kind of jokes
But they are a solid #2
3. Anyone out there interested in buying my Delorean? Great condition, low mileage
Really only driven from time to time
4. Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air
5. I went to the beekeeper to get 12 bees. He counted and gave me 13. “Sir, you me an extra one”
“That’s a freebie”
6. Dude 1: “Hey bro?”
Dude 2: “Yeah bro?”
Dude 1: “Can you hand me that pamphlet?”
Dude 2: “Brochure”
7. Lance is an uncommon name nowadays
But in medieval times, people were named Lance a lot
8. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale
9. Where is the GYM located at in Hogwarts?
Right through the Dumbell Door
10. They said that I couldn’t be good at poetry because I’m dyslexic
But so far I’ve made 3 jugs and a vase and they are lovely
11. What starts with T, ends with T and is full of T?
Teapot
12. A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche
13. I invested every cent I have in a cannabis-fed cattle business
The steaks have never been higher
14. Instead of water, I put RedBull in the back of my coffee maker this morning
I was half way to work before I realized that I forgot my car
15. What is the opposite of croissant?
A Happy Uncle
16. Why can’t skeletons play church music?
They don’t have organs
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17. I was originally going to get a brain transplant
But then I changed my mind
18. A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer
The bartender says “we don’t serve food here”
19. Why can’t pirates finish the alphabet?
Because they always get lost at C
20. What is the inventor of hand sanitizer doing right now?
Rubbing his hands
21. A cheese factory exploded in France
Da brie is everywhere
22. I tried to sue the airline for misplacing my luggage
I lost my case
23. How can a room full of married people be empty?
Because there’s not a single person in there
24. My landlord texted saying we need to meet up and talk about how high my heating bill is
I replied back: “Sure, my door is always open”
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25. I asked my phone “Siri, why am I so bad with women?”
She said “I’m Alexa you moron”
26. If Dwayne Johnson had downstairs neighbors, they would be clueless about just about everything
You would be too if you lived under a Rock
27. To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it’s heart
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking
28. I got fired from my job at the calendar factory
All I did was take a day off
29. When ordering food at a restaurant, I asked the waiter how they prepare their chicken
“Nothing special”, he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die”
30. I’m trying to convince my dad to get a new hearing aid
But he just won’t listen
31. So, I read a study the other day claiming that “humans eat more bananas than monkeys”
Which to me sounded a bit obvious. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
32. My friend said that he couldn’t afford to pay his huge water bill
So, I sent him a Get Well Soon card
33. I ate a kids meal at McDonald’s today
His mom got really angry
34. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went
And then it dawned on me
35. I’m done being a people pleaser
If everyone’s ok with that
36. I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo
It was great. She’s a keeper.
37. At the office barbecue, I grilled some rare steak for our boss, and he said “I like it well done”
I said, “Thanks, that means a lot”
38. When I moved into my new igloo my friends threw me a surprise house-warming party
Now I’m homeless
39. I’ve never been married
But I’ve had a few near Mrs.
40. What do you call a dog that does magic?
A Labracadabrador
41. Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold
42. My friend said, “My kid refuses to eat fish. What do you think is a good replacement?”
Me: “Cats. Cats love fish.”
43. I never remember what people tell me at New Year’s parties
It goes in one year and out the other
44. I’ve started a new band called “Blanket”
We’re a cover band
45. Yesterday I purchased a world map, gave my wife a dart and said to her “throw this and wherever it lands, I’m taking you for a holiday”
Turns out we’re spending three weeks behind the fridge
46. The German word for bra is
stoppemfrumfloppen
47. When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamigo
I had to put my foot down
48. Wouldn’t it have been amazing if John Lennon had invented that device that you put in your front door to secretly see who’s on the other side?
Imagine all the peepholes
49. So far, Humpty Dumpty is having a terrible winter
Which sucks because he had a great fall
50. I asked my date to meet me at the gym but she never showed up
Guess the two of us aren’t going to work out
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