When it comes to Dad jokes, even though they are super funny, corny and cheesy, they sometimes can get repetitive. New Dad jokes are out there but because they are new, you probably haven’t come across them. Here are 50 Dad jokes you’ve probably never heard.
1. I’m not saying that I’m attractive. But everytime i go into the bathroom and take my clothes off. I turn the shower on.
2. What do you call a man that can’t stand?
Neil.
3. What’s the most popular sport on the 4th of July?
Flag football.
4. What did one flag say to another flag?
Nothing. Just waved.
5. Why did the man fall down the well?
He couldn’t see that well.
6. What state is especially known for its small soft drinks?
Minnesota.
7. What state is known for having the most streets?
Rhode Island.
8. Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.
But cat-scan.
9. What kind of music do chiropractors like?
Hip hop.
10. Why is Peter Pan always flying?
Because he Neverlands.
11. Why did the coach go back to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
12. Have you wondered how celebrities stay cool?
Because of all of the fans they have.
Dad Jokes For The Morning
13. How do you weigh a millennial?
In Insta-grams.
14. Why are toilets so good at poker?
They always get a flush.
15. How does NASA organize their parties?
They planet.
16. I stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun was.
Then it dawned on me.
17. Clooney, DiCaprio & McConaughey all want to put a movie together.
Cloney says: “I’ll direct”
DiCaprio says: “I’ll act”
McConaughey says: “I’ll write, I’ll write, I’ll write.”
75 Best Kid Friendly Dad Jokes
18. How do you measure a snake ?
In inches. They don’t have feet.
19. A man walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing nothing but saran wrap.
Psychiatrist looks at the man and says, “Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”
20. Did you know that there are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the air?
Well that’s plane to sea.
21. What kind of doctor was Dr. Pepper?
FIZZician.
22. Why did the bullet lose his job?
It got fired.
23. I wonder what time I have to go to the dentist today?
Probably tooth-hurty.
24. Why didn’t the skeleton climb up the mountain?
He didn’t have the guts.
Corny Dad Jokes For Kids
25. How does a taco say grace?
Lettuce pray.
26. I used to be addicted to soap.
But now I’m clean.
27. Wanna box for your leftovers?
No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.
28. I wonder what country is growing the fastest?
Ireland. Everyday it’s Dublin.
29. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
He woke up.
50 Horrible Dad Jokes That Are Actually Great
30. When you die, I wonder what part dies last?
The pupils. They die-late.
31. How does a train hear another train coming?
With its engin-ears.
32. What does a janitor say when he jumps out of a closet?
SUPPLIES!
33. How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?
You just follow its fresh prince.
34. What do you call poor Santa Claus?
St. Nickel-less.
35. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, they would be called bayguls.
Funny Dad Jokes For Work
36. Did you know that R2D2 is the most obscene character in the film industry?
They bleep out every word he says.
37. My viagra addition was the hardest time of my life.
38. Why are mountains so funny?
They are hill areas.
39. Why shouldn’t you ever date a tennis player?
Love means nothing to them.
40. When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
41. I got fired from the keyboard factory yesterday.
I guess I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
42. It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar. But it’s a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house.
The difference is staggering.
43. My dog ate all the scrabble tiles last night.
I think it’s going to spell disaster.
44. What always starts with letter W and ends with T.
61 Awkwardly Terrible Dad Jokes From Reddit
45. My wife has a really hard time falling asleep.
I can do it with my eyes closed.
46. I was an Uber driver once.
Then I got tired of people talking behind my back.
47. My co-worker hides every time he gets to work.
I guess good employees are hard to find.
48. Did you hear about the ATM that was addicted to money?
It was having withdrawals.
49. My girlfriend and I let astrology get between us.
Taurus-part.
50. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Great food. No Atmosphere.
50 Best Dad Jokes From Twitter
50 Funny Jokes To Make A Dad Laugh
50 Jokes And Puns To Make Your Dad Laugh
Recent posts
