Home-buying jokes and real estate jokes are great to tell family and friends. But let’s face it, any joke is great to tell anyone you know. Jokes generate laughter. And everyone needs to laugh sometimes.
Home Buying Jokes
1. Why did the house go to the doctor?
It had window pane!
2. A Real estate agent promises an abacus with every closed deal.
But I wouldn’t count on it.
3. Buyer: “This house is beautiful, but it’s really made for cats.”
Agent: “What do you mean?”
Buyer: “It will take me nine lives to pay off the mortgage!”
4. Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Nevermind, it’s over your head.
5. Do you know what a house wears?
An address.
6. An elevator in a house is WAY better than stairs.
It’s so uplifting.
7. Realtor: “When it comes to a vacant property, I know a lot.”
8. Do you know which house weighs the least?
A lighthouse.
9. What room is a zombie most afraid of?
A living room.
10. I have a friend that’s a realtor. I wouldn’t mess with him.
He flips houses on the side.
11. Cheap contractors are like UFOs.
Everyone talks about them but you never see them.
12. What does an appraiser’s wife say when she can’t sleep?
“Honey, tell me about your day at work.”
13. What do real estate agents use for birth control?
Their personality.
14. What is a mortgage broker?
A Real estate agent without a sense of humor.
15. What did the Real este put on her sign?
“I have lots to be thankful for.”
16. What do you call a detective that moonlights as a realtor?
Sherlock homes.
17. Did you hear about the last condo available for sale?
It was last but not least.
18. When you buy a house in Mexico, you don’t have to peso much.
19. The realtor did such a great job describing my home that I decided to keep it.
20. You can call this house Wifi.
Because I can feel a connection.
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